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| Myself and two other missioners outside of Mass on Sunday |
I firmly believe that God works in mysterious ways and places people in your life, even for a short while, for a specific purpose. As I travelled to New York for training and orientation I couldn't help but feel butterflies in my stomach. I am very excited about this path God has laid out for me, but I would be lying to myself if I said that I did not have many anxieties. Anxieties about meeting my site partners for the first time, discovering what "training and orientation" entails, and about what to expect while on mission in Bolivia. As I began my 3 weeks of training and orientation in New York, I was nervous about everything. I had anticipated that as my questions about my mission were answered my anxieties would decrease, however as the weeks progressed and I talked with previous missioners about the good and the bad of mission, my anxieties only grew. I knew God called me to mission, but I was having a hard time putting my full trust in Him. God told me twice while in New York that I needed to put my faith and trust in Him. Little did I know that God would use the people I had just met to tell me.
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| Don Bosco Community Center where I met Mercedes. |
When we were eating at the soup kitchen the first week of training I had met Mercedes, who is from the Dominican Republic and is an absolute delight to talk to. I enjoyed my time talking to her, and during our service week I was grinding coffee beans for the food cupboard and I hear a voice behind me exclaim "I recognize that face!" There was Mercedes with her arms open walking over to me. As she embraced me she also gave me a kiss on the cheek and told me how nice it was to see me and that she would save me a seat at lunch. I was able to enjoy two more days talking and laughing with Mercedes. When it came time to say our goodbye at the end of the week she told me something that struck me. She said, "I will remember your name and pray for you everyday. All you need to do is trust in God. Trust in Him and you will be okay. He will take care of you. Remember just to trust in Him." Wow. Talk about God speaking through other people. I took her words to heart and I know I will carry them forever with me, and I will always keep Mercedes in my prayers. I knew God was telling me to fully rely on Him, but some of my anxieties were still nagging at me.
At the end of training while we were on our retreat with the Salesians of Don Bosco, we were blessed with the opportunity to attend Lectio Divina. Lectio Divina is a contemplative prayer of the scriptures. The passage is read four times. After the first time you reflect on a phrase or word that stands out to you in the passage. After the second time you share with a small group your word or phrase and explain why it stood out to you. After the third time you share a prayer or intention based on your word or phrase, and after the last time each person is in silent prayer and reflection. Our passage was Philippians 4:4-9:
"4 Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice! 5 Let your gentle spirit be known to all men. The Lord is near. 6 Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. 7 And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. 8 Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things. 9 The things you have learned and received and heard and seen in me, practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you."
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| Me being commissioned the last day of training and orientation. |
The phrase that stood out to me was "be anxious for nothing". I knew in my heart as I reflected on that phrase that God was speaking to me specifically and was telling me to put my fears and anxieties to rest. Since that day I have fully depended on God, and as the number of days days until I leave lessens, my heart gets more and more excited. That excitement has replaced the anxiety. Jesus I trust in You!
